You Feel Behind Spiritually: A Letter to the Soul That’s Tired

Bismillah

Dear soul,

You’re here because something within you aches.

You’re not lost—but you feel far.

Far from the peace you once tasted in dhikr,

far from the sweetness you once knew in sujood,

far from the you that used to cry in prayer and feel… close.

You scroll past reminders, hear others speak of Quran routines and tahajjud goals, and all you can think is—

“I’m not there. I’m not like them. I used to be better.”

And then the guilt weighs heavier than the distance.

But can I tell you something?

Allah hasn’t moved. You have not been abandoned.

Yes, you may feel behind.

Yes, you may feel empty.

Yes, the whispers may be louder lately.

But the very fact that you feel this ache

is proof that your heart is still alive.

Still tethered to its Source.

Still yearning to return.

What you call “being behind”

might actually be a mercy pause.

A divinely ordained intermission

so that you can come back with more depth,

more humility,

more sincerity.

You’re not behind. You’re being re-routed.

Maybe this low point was written

so that your next sajdah hits deeper than ever before.

So that you never again rely on momentum alone,

but return out of pure maḥabbah—out of love.

Maybe your tiredness is not spiritual laziness,

but the weight of life pressing on you from every side.

And in that heaviness, you’re still looking for Allah.

Do you know how beautiful that is?

So pause.

Breathe.

Don’t rush to fix yourself overnight.

Return slowly.

One quiet dhikr at a time.

One sincere istighfar.

One honest cry in du’a.

One verse that lands in your chest like rain on dry soil.

And know this:

Allah loves your returning more than you can imagine.

He loves the broken version of you who still walks back home.

He sees the fight behind your smile.

He counts the tears no one else sees.

He hears the guilt, the hope, the hesitation.

And He still calls you:

“Come to Me. Even now. Especially now.”

You are not too far.

You are not too late.

You are not unloved.

You are just tired. And that’s okay.

But even tired hearts can kneel.

Even weary souls can whisper,

“Ya Allah, I miss You.”

And that, dear soul,

is the beginning of everything.

With love,

Your fellow traveler who knows this ache too well